Love.

Snowy's Adorable.



But horrendously uncooperative with looking at cameras.

I wonder how many people cam-whore with their dogs.

The following is blur but...

When she does, she's sooper cute. Though the contrast makes me look horrid.

Mad rush.

She said I don't think it's here leh... Nope. not here. Sorry.

To whoever who stole my textbook from my pigeonhole: [I will not swear] Just remember, what goes around comes around. You will get your darn retribution back. Your low act of stealing might go to waste and you might just end up failing your Geography, or maybe all your subjects, eventually.

If I actually do discover my book lying around at home again, I'll kill myself.

Drinking mugs.

A typical gift.

I just found a porcelaine snowman mug on my bedside drawer in a box. I think I might have received it for Christmas last year from my Angel. Shahril, was it? I didn't use it though. I don't like having too many cups. There's only one mug I use at home, and have been using it for ages actually.

You know, previously, I use to have plastic cups that Daddy bought from Ang Mo Kio. I always broke them by dropping them or like hitting them accidentally. They either chip or just fell apart after a year or so and I'll throw them. But my Tigger mug, I've been using that for three years already and it's pretty intact, if you ask me.

Almost a quarter of my life.

I should stop this difference thing.

No one likes pain, that's for sure...

But if I was some higher being that appeared before you one day and said "I'll allow you to feel only one kind of pain for the rest of your life but you have to make a choice now, between physical pain or emotional pain." Which would you choose? I mean, pain's good right. Helps you stay strong, stay alive. Tells you you're living.

I think I'll reject my offer if I were you.

No second chance.

Sorry to steal your little line, Mister Lim.

No second chance, no second chance. Yeah, that's what he said. No second chance. He said that, too many times to count and, really, I hate to say this but - things do work that way. You get it once but never twice. No matter what it is. If you get it back, it's never exact, never same.

I'm damn puzzled right now. And that the honest to God truth.

One more difference.

Happiness.

I figured, just like fear, happiness can be different too. You have the type that makes you jumpy, crazy and impossibly wanting to scream and shout. The type that plasters a smile on your face, but that normally fades fast. And, finally, the type that lights a warm fire in the pit of your tummy, keeping your insides warm. Not too hot, not too cold. Just right.

Happy Brithday, Darling. When you're twenty-six, that'll be half your lifespan!

On the count of three...

I'll close my eyes. Take me away...





What?

Different.

Many things are different.

People are different. Colours are different. So, since so many things can be different, I guess so can fear. Right? Like if I tell you, this doesn't feel like the kind of fear that make you jump or cry. It's the kind that makes you wanna crawl into a peanut shell and be so tiny and non-existent in hopes that everything just disappears.

You do understand right? I mean, doesn't everyone wanna be a peanut at some point of time?

Just thinking...

She said My father, mother, brother, and you...

I keep getting scratched my Tigger and it's been annoying the guts in me for the past few days. Every corner I turn, I'll feel him, ready to pounce. Sometimes, I'll be fast enough to turn around and scream at him, scare him off. Sometimes, I don't see him coming and he just scratches me deep and it bleeds. Only because he has the ability to, because he can.
Aww! I'm family!
Yeah yeah, shut up. So, has she replaced me or am I just out?

All under one category.

So many words in the dictionary...


G!NJ05@
Like a computer generated code.

But yet, I just cant find any that fits...

One [and only] big disadvantage.

I'd gladly go.

Cause the list of incentives are endless, really, if you think about it. The freedom the roam, to learn to breathe. The time to myself, the private bedroom without you beating me awake or slamming your foot into my sides... Oh, wouldn't it be nice. My dear sister, why wouldn't I? A life without you. Wouldn't that be nice?

Only one [not so] little problem - I'd like to bring someone else along.

With only one goal in mind.

Two years and three more months.

As I unscrew the lid to my relatively untouched savings, and dig for coins, counting the tens and the twenties ever so carefully, I tell myself to think of then. And as I walk pass the keys, ignoring their sweet calls that echoe in my mind, I remind myself to think of the day I'll walk out of here free.

Free. Free as a bird.

Living things talk to me.

Well, at least some do.

Like some keys, for example, always call out to me Min Jun, Min Jun! Turn me, please! Pity that only some keys talk to me, you know. My home keys, unfortunately, are an exception. I wish exam papers spoke to me too though. They could go Min Jun, you should write "2" onto my dotted line right here. And "789" over here, and "38/7" under there!

You know those little holes on keys? Those are the mouths.

When the dog bites, when the bee stings...

I simply remember my favourite things...

Let me just find myself on the breakwaters, under the warm warm sun. May thirteenth, you say? Let me be sitting on the edge, with my toes in the water, let me feel the waves beating against my feet. Let me enjoy the breeze for a moment, let me stretch a little. Let me tear a bit - how wonderful Life is. Let me, before I plunge into the beautiful sea.

... And then I don't feel, so sad.

Something sudden.

Hits me without a warning.

The urge to cycle, under the hot burning sun, with the breeze hitting me in the face. This overwhelming depressing feeling of loss, as if someone I know has passed on to the next life. A deep need for some comfort, some warmth, some sort of affection. The want to sit by the breakwaters, in your arms.

I might crumble.