We rarely thank God that we're given the ability to breathe.
But when we drown, when we are snatched and robbed of that basic ability to breathe, to keep us alive, I guess it's only then that we'll realise that such insignificant details of our lives is what we need most. And it's only when the ability to breathe is taken away, against one's will, will you see that you truly need it.
Only then do we appreciate what's gone. Long gone.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Lock me in a bubble.
Wouldn't it be nice...
If I could have a little soundproof bubble so that I wouldn't need to hear the evil that people say? And since my opinions rarely matter, I wouldn't have to waste my energy - they can open up a little window when they wanna listen. I'll sleep and eat, and carry out all daily activities in the little bubble, where no one and nothing can intrude.
Santa are you okay? Are you dead?
If I could have a little soundproof bubble so that I wouldn't need to hear the evil that people say? And since my opinions rarely matter, I wouldn't have to waste my energy - they can open up a little window when they wanna listen. I'll sleep and eat, and carry out all daily activities in the little bubble, where no one and nothing can intrude.
Santa are you okay? Are you dead?
Friday, December 25, 2009
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Saturday, December 19, 2009
Santa, can you hear me?
Here's my little Christmas wish-list:
1) Baby pink/blue Karakiri
2) Nintendo DS (newer model)
3) Sims 3
4) Forget Me Knot ring by Kiel Mead (view http://www.kielmead.com/)
5) Retainer Jewelry by Kiel Mead
6) Octopus Me earrings (view http://www.etsy.com/)
7) Lion King DVD
8) Snow White DVD
9) Sleeping Beauty DVD
10) Cinderella DVD
11) Beauty and The Beast DVD
12) Little Mermaid DVD
13) Pinnochio DVD
14) Mulan DVD
15) Blossom Pendant (view http://www.rockettoro.com/)
16) The nice Puma Duffel Bag I spotted with Geraldine
17) A nice comfortable pair of Birkenstocks
18) You (wrapped in a big red bow)
Santa, that's my only wish this year...
1) Baby pink/blue Karakiri
2) Nintendo DS (newer model)
3) Sims 3
4) Forget Me Knot ring by Kiel Mead (view http://www.kielmead.com/)
5) Retainer Jewelry by Kiel Mead
6) Octopus Me earrings (view http://www.etsy.com/)
7) Lion King DVD
8) Snow White DVD
9) Sleeping Beauty DVD
10) Cinderella DVD
11) Beauty and The Beast DVD
12) Little Mermaid DVD
13) Pinnochio DVD
14) Mulan DVD
15) Blossom Pendant (view http://www.rockettoro.com/)
16) The nice Puma Duffel Bag I spotted with Geraldine
17) A nice comfortable pair of Birkenstocks
18) You (wrapped in a big red bow)
Santa, that's my only wish this year...
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Candyfloss pool.
Oh, let me drown.
Let me drown in this candyfloss pool. Let me suffocate in fluffy sugar that melts on my skin and let me choke on its sweet taste. Let the last colours I see be a spectrum of light pastel colours of baby pink and blue and lilac. Let me stay here and have my skin layered with melted sugar.
I wish I didn't have to go.
Let me drown in this candyfloss pool. Let me suffocate in fluffy sugar that melts on my skin and let me choke on its sweet taste. Let the last colours I see be a spectrum of light pastel colours of baby pink and blue and lilac. Let me stay here and have my skin layered with melted sugar.
I wish I didn't have to go.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Composed thoughts.
And his presence got me thinking...
How can someone make such a big deal out of cursing when a guest in my house is cursing at the rate of at least 2 times in 5 minutes? How can the fact that this guest is making a member of the family cry in her own house be accepted? How can this guest have absolutely no respect for me and can't even muster a greeting?
If you wanna make a deal out of one's behaviour, make it relative.
How can someone make such a big deal out of cursing when a guest in my house is cursing at the rate of at least 2 times in 5 minutes? How can the fact that this guest is making a member of the family cry in her own house be accepted? How can this guest have absolutely no respect for me and can't even muster a greeting?
If you wanna make a deal out of one's behaviour, make it relative.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Lost for directions.
It's as if I'm swimming in choppy waters...
And I know I should just swim back to shore or I'd die out here in sea. But the journey back is going to be too damn hard on me. And, the waters are calming anyway, why not just stop, float on the waters and see where they bring me? Or should I really complete what I started?
For the first time in a long while, I'm lost. Without someone to cheer me on.
And I know I should just swim back to shore or I'd die out here in sea. But the journey back is going to be too damn hard on me. And, the waters are calming anyway, why not just stop, float on the waters and see where they bring me? Or should I really complete what I started?
For the first time in a long while, I'm lost. Without someone to cheer me on.
Give me strength.
You're wrong.
I need you. More than anything I could possibly ask for, but I can't have what I want. It's a curse I've to live with. And I just have to move on. I hate myself for putting myself through the pain, and putting you through it too, but I'll never wish to have never met you. Because you're the greatest man I've ever known. And I can't love anyone more.
Lift me up.
I need you. More than anything I could possibly ask for, but I can't have what I want. It's a curse I've to live with. And I just have to move on. I hate myself for putting myself through the pain, and putting you through it too, but I'll never wish to have never met you. Because you're the greatest man I've ever known. And I can't love anyone more.
Lift me up.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Just a passing thought.
No analogies.
When I was really young, if I fell asleep on the sofa watching TV after dinner, Daddy would naturally carry me to my bed and I'd magically wake up in the comfor of my own room. At about the age of 10, Daddy would wake me up and walk me in at midnight. Now, I'll just be left there to wake up on my own and figure my way through the dark.
A blooming analogy, but not quite there yet.
When I was really young, if I fell asleep on the sofa watching TV after dinner, Daddy would naturally carry me to my bed and I'd magically wake up in the comfor of my own room. At about the age of 10, Daddy would wake me up and walk me in at midnight. Now, I'll just be left there to wake up on my own and figure my way through the dark.
A blooming analogy, but not quite there yet.
12:06am
Your voice is cold, but yet it still warms my inside.
You say hello and I wish I would die this very moment. You ask why I've called and I stammer, and finally conclude that I don't really know. It's late, and you lament, your voice husky from sleep. I know it is; why I called? No idea, no bloody idea at all. A machine creaks, and the gears grown... Another jam?
12:10am. I still hear the click of the receiver, and your voice turns to ice. Goodnight.
You say hello and I wish I would die this very moment. You ask why I've called and I stammer, and finally conclude that I don't really know. It's late, and you lament, your voice husky from sleep. I know it is; why I called? No idea, no bloody idea at all. A machine creaks, and the gears grown... Another jam?
12:10am. I still hear the click of the receiver, and your voice turns to ice. Goodnight.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Word jam.
It was 11:39pm when I opened up this page.
It's curently 11:46pm, and after staring at a blank screen for 7 minutes, I still can't think of what to type. There's so much I feel, but yet, nothing can be put into words. Like a paper shredder. 11:48pm now, oh wait, 11:49pm. Oh, my handphone and computer's clocks are working quite simultaneously.
11:50pm, paper jam. The shredder won't shred.
It's curently 11:46pm, and after staring at a blank screen for 7 minutes, I still can't think of what to type. There's so much I feel, but yet, nothing can be put into words. Like a paper shredder. 11:48pm now, oh wait, 11:49pm. Oh, my handphone and computer's clocks are working quite simultaneously.
11:50pm, paper jam. The shredder won't shred.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Passion.
It is your real passion.
I want to feel your weight pressing down on me, my hands firm around you. I want to feel your skin against mine, as I press my lips against your's. Let me warm your cold, dry lips. Let me hold you in my arms, as run my hands up and down your body, inwards and outwards, faster and faster. Let me feel your cold, metallic touch against my neck...
Let me play. Let me graduate.
I want to feel your weight pressing down on me, my hands firm around you. I want to feel your skin against mine, as I press my lips against your's. Let me warm your cold, dry lips. Let me hold you in my arms, as run my hands up and down your body, inwards and outwards, faster and faster. Let me feel your cold, metallic touch against my neck...
Let me play. Let me graduate.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Only words.
More than words to show you feel that your love for me is real...
A privilege I do not share with thousand other people out there. And the same chance I pray for each day. The ability to express one's love beyond words, but rather through expression and action, is something many take for granted. But only when that privilege and option is forcefully taken away, do you turn back and wish you had a chance more.
I love you.
A privilege I do not share with thousand other people out there. And the same chance I pray for each day. The ability to express one's love beyond words, but rather through expression and action, is something many take for granted. But only when that privilege and option is forcefully taken away, do you turn back and wish you had a chance more.
I love you.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The aftermath.
A great big load of mess.
It started with some travelling, a bus trip down to Serangoon Gardens, which involved some tapping and waiting and collecting and walking. This then took me down to Vivo, and that's when the craziness begun. There was ironing and crimping, pulling and tugging, tying and pinning, and the brushing and dabbing and shaving and drawing.
After the fuss, it was a cab down to Capitol Towers where there was more waiting, waiting, drinking, talking and then I headed to Grand Copthorne. After loads of snapping and shouting, eating and applauding, and laughing and talking, I headed home for more tugging and wiping and what not, to get back to my original self.
And as I pumped my nineth pump of conditioner and massaged the eighth pump of shampoo into my scalp, there were recollection of the night's events running through of various insincere comments, forceful comments, the polite comments and the rare and unexpected you-look-like-a-slut comments.
But at the end of it all, I realised, I didn't really have the want to look fantabulous. Neither was I looking forward to the many compliments. I wasn't looking forward to the food either, or to finally find out who'll be crowned prom queen of king. And, only after $335 dollars spent, I realised, I didn't really want to go to Prom.
All I wanted was you, to have you wait at my living room as I fussed with my hair. Which, of course, I didn't get.
It started with some travelling, a bus trip down to Serangoon Gardens, which involved some tapping and waiting and collecting and walking. This then took me down to Vivo, and that's when the craziness begun. There was ironing and crimping, pulling and tugging, tying and pinning, and the brushing and dabbing and shaving and drawing.
After the fuss, it was a cab down to Capitol Towers where there was more waiting, waiting, drinking, talking and then I headed to Grand Copthorne. After loads of snapping and shouting, eating and applauding, and laughing and talking, I headed home for more tugging and wiping and what not, to get back to my original self.
And as I pumped my nineth pump of conditioner and massaged the eighth pump of shampoo into my scalp, there were recollection of the night's events running through of various insincere comments, forceful comments, the polite comments and the rare and unexpected you-look-like-a-slut comments.
But at the end of it all, I realised, I didn't really have the want to look fantabulous. Neither was I looking forward to the many compliments. I wasn't looking forward to the food either, or to finally find out who'll be crowned prom queen of king. And, only after $335 dollars spent, I realised, I didn't really want to go to Prom.
All I wanted was you, to have you wait at my living room as I fussed with my hair. Which, of course, I didn't get.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Stop it.
You're so darn young.
It always has to be about you doesn't it? Your suffering, your pain. You didn't have a choice, fine, and so I apologised. Try living your life as a coward, try living through the self-hate, the guilt, the regret. You wouldn't understand any of that because you didn't have to queue up for the tickets under the hot sun.
That's why you just won't bloody understand a thing.
It always has to be about you doesn't it? Your suffering, your pain. You didn't have a choice, fine, and so I apologised. Try living your life as a coward, try living through the self-hate, the guilt, the regret. You wouldn't understand any of that because you didn't have to queue up for the tickets under the hot sun.
That's why you just won't bloody understand a thing.
In code.
Oohchi, ilymywy and ymmgc and imvsfe.
Prom's like the only thing left. Counting the days. Till I'll see you again. I just wish you'd be waiting there, for me, take me in a cab to prom... But it won't happen.
So no one can question.
Prom's like the only thing left. Counting the days. Till I'll see you again. I just wish you'd be waiting there, for me, take me in a cab to prom... But it won't happen.
So no one can question.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Undefeated.
If Love could be taken down by just words of another person,
There would be no story of Romeo and Juliet, no story of a love that will last forever. John Smith would not have lived to see another day, had Pocahontas not flung herself upon him to protect his head at the execution stone. If Love could be defeated by words from a third-person, a mere witness...
What lies are the stories we've been told?
There would be no story of Romeo and Juliet, no story of a love that will last forever. John Smith would not have lived to see another day, had Pocahontas not flung herself upon him to protect his head at the execution stone. If Love could be defeated by words from a third-person, a mere witness...
What lies are the stories we've been told?
My birthday's on the 13th.
I'd do anything, anything at all...
Just to have someone hold my hand under the table during dinner on my birthday, to have someone hold me tight and make me feel that warmth I haven't felt for what seems so much like eternity. No, not someone, not just anyone. You. Well, needless to say, only you can make me feel that way.
Teppanyaki.
Just to have someone hold my hand under the table during dinner on my birthday, to have someone hold me tight and make me feel that warmth I haven't felt for what seems so much like eternity. No, not someone, not just anyone. You. Well, needless to say, only you can make me feel that way.
Teppanyaki.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
If destiny decides that I should look the other way.
Oliver James - Greatest Story Ever Told
Thank you for this moment
I've gotta say how beautiful you are
Of all the hopes and dreams I could pray for
Here you are
If I could have one dance forever
I would take you by the hand
Tonight is you and I together
I'm so glad I'm your man
And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you
that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
and did I tell you that I love you
Tonight
I don't hear the music
When I'm looking in your eyes
But I feel the rhythm of your body
Close to mine
It's the way we touch that sends me
It's the way we'll always be
Your kiss your pretty smile you know I'd die for
Oh baby, you're all I need
And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you
that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
and did I tell you that I love you
Tonight Tonight
And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you
that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
and did I tell you that I love you tonight
Monday, November 9, 2009
Caught red-handed.
Sneaky?
I could hear her screaming, and shouting, her voice wavering with anger, or maybe, tears. My dad would say a word or two every now and then. And although my sister didn't say a thing, her satisfaction from everything was deafening. Everything is in a horrendous mess, now that I've been caught red-handed for indulging in pure bliss.
Maybe, but I may have learnt it from you.
I could hear her screaming, and shouting, her voice wavering with anger, or maybe, tears. My dad would say a word or two every now and then. And although my sister didn't say a thing, her satisfaction from everything was deafening. Everything is in a horrendous mess, now that I've been caught red-handed for indulging in pure bliss.
Maybe, but I may have learnt it from you.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Godamnit, I'm sixteen?
Tis the season to be studying...
Been a strange but pretty memoriable day in fact. To wake up coughing my lungs out, was shit. But I enjoyed the 26 messages that awaited me. After the visit to the doctors, I had a great lunch with The Greatest. A short hour of sneaking around can make my day. Thanks, everyone, for the various text messages, spam mail, various [wake up] calls.
Thanks for making today more then a day of literature.
Been a strange but pretty memoriable day in fact. To wake up coughing my lungs out, was shit. But I enjoyed the 26 messages that awaited me. After the visit to the doctors, I had a great lunch with The Greatest. A short hour of sneaking around can make my day. Thanks, everyone, for the various text messages, spam mail, various [wake up] calls.
Thanks for making today more then a day of literature.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Delete it.
I think I just haven't deleted all the math yet, that's all.
And it's clogging up my head like how hair clogs up a drain and doesn't let any water flow. I always had a problem getting rid of stuff in my head; retain them for life as if it'd do any good. And, wham bam, suddenly out of the blue some darn math equation pops in and blocks everything else that needs to get in.
Don't even know what I'm saying no more.
And it's clogging up my head like how hair clogs up a drain and doesn't let any water flow. I always had a problem getting rid of stuff in my head; retain them for life as if it'd do any good. And, wham bam, suddenly out of the blue some darn math equation pops in and blocks everything else that needs to get in.
Don't even know what I'm saying no more.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Puffy eyes and heavy eye bags.
They were gaining land. Or was it it?
No, wait. What was gaining land?
No, wait. What was gaining land?
Saturday, October 24, 2009
My only mug.
Tigger.
I'm sitting at the dining table doing work and Ida's standing opposite me, my mug in her hand (probably clearing after me), casually disturbing Tigger as swats back at her hands in annoyance. Suddenly a sick ceramic sound rings and my favourite giant mug's wobbling on the edge of the table... Thank Goodness Ida caught it in time.
Tigger, Goddamnit, break my Tigger Mug and I'll break your neck.
I'm sitting at the dining table doing work and Ida's standing opposite me, my mug in her hand (probably clearing after me), casually disturbing Tigger as swats back at her hands in annoyance. Suddenly a sick ceramic sound rings and my favourite giant mug's wobbling on the edge of the table... Thank Goodness Ida caught it in time.
Tigger, Goddamnit, break my Tigger Mug and I'll break your neck.
Something to look forward to.
Your words always touch my heart, you know...
Gets tears rolling down my cheeks even.
Gets tears rolling down my cheeks even.
Friday, October 23, 2009
God knows why.
I realised other than typing "you" or "please don't get me wrong"...
I don't quite address my audience. I don't type "guess what, you all?" or "it's because... Remember last time when...?". Don't get me wrong - I don't find directly addressing the audience on blogs wrong but it's just purely an observation. I guess I don't expect readers around here. And even if I do know of people who do read my blogs, I don't expect them to be loyal patrons really...
People get too busy with their lives to care about others - that's a known fact, not quite an observation.
I don't quite address my audience. I don't type "guess what, you all?" or "it's because... Remember last time when...?". Don't get me wrong - I don't find directly addressing the audience on blogs wrong but it's just purely an observation. I guess I don't expect readers around here. And even if I do know of people who do read my blogs, I don't expect them to be loyal patrons really...
People get too busy with their lives to care about others - that's a known fact, not quite an observation.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Three months later.
Realising the photo-count's probably below ten...
May it was misjudgement, maybe. But not a mistake, definitely. An important friendship lost, maybe. A great friend lost, definitely. And, I may want to take back what was done and all that has happened. But I can't, and that's pretty definite. When'll you ever listen, and not just hear, me say I'm really sorry.
Oh yes. Definitely, Maybe's showing at one...
May it was misjudgement, maybe. But not a mistake, definitely. An important friendship lost, maybe. A great friend lost, definitely. And, I may want to take back what was done and all that has happened. But I can't, and that's pretty definite. When'll you ever listen, and not just hear, me say I'm really sorry.
Oh yes. Definitely, Maybe's showing at one...
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Nature or nurture?
Mummy once said it's due to my impression since young that I lack love from the family...
She might blame herself for being too busy for me. I inferred from her words that she's got a theory that that is why I turn to you for attention, that I crave for love. Well, if only I could tell Mummy that I may be young but I don't lack that much sense. That I may have made mistakes she knows nothing of, and in fact have learnt from them. And matured, in one way or another...
If I only needed affection and attention, I could love someone else. But you're a total different matter; a blessing, I'm definite.
She might blame herself for being too busy for me. I inferred from her words that she's got a theory that that is why I turn to you for attention, that I crave for love. Well, if only I could tell Mummy that I may be young but I don't lack that much sense. That I may have made mistakes she knows nothing of, and in fact have learnt from them. And matured, in one way or another...
If I only needed affection and attention, I could love someone else. But you're a total different matter; a blessing, I'm definite.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
A dream is a wish your heart makes...
Here's a little wish-list just for the heck of it:
1) A baby blue/pink Karakiri
2) Forget Me Not ring by Kiel Mead (view: http://www.kielmead.com/)
3) Retainer jewelry by Kiel Mead
4) OctopusMe ear rings (view: http://www.etsy.com/ real octopus tentacles casted in sterling silver)
5) Classic Disney DVDs (e.g. Beauty and The Beast, Pinocchio, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Little Mermaid, Mulan, Pocohontas, The Lion King, The Jungle Book, Lady and the Tramp etc.)
6) Sim Theme Park
7) Blossom Pendant (view: http://www.rockettoro.com/)
So much more that I just can't think of at the moment. Oh well.
1) A baby blue/pink Karakiri
2) Forget Me Not ring by Kiel Mead (view: http://www.kielmead.com/)
3) Retainer jewelry by Kiel Mead
4) OctopusMe ear rings (view: http://www.etsy.com/ real octopus tentacles casted in sterling silver)
5) Classic Disney DVDs (e.g. Beauty and The Beast, Pinocchio, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Little Mermaid, Mulan, Pocohontas, The Lion King, The Jungle Book, Lady and the Tramp etc.)
6) Sim Theme Park
7) Blossom Pendant (view: http://www.rockettoro.com/)
So much more that I just can't think of at the moment. Oh well.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Keep me alive.
Let me feel the touch of something else but paper.
I wanna feel human again. I wanna quit feeling so lifeless, so empty. I wanna feel human again. I wanna feel the warm emotions I used to be capable of feeling. Let me be held, let me hold someone, someone human, someone real. Let me hold and touch something other than paper. Let me be full again, let me feel alive...
But, please don't let the days to pass...
I wanna feel human again. I wanna quit feeling so lifeless, so empty. I wanna feel human again. I wanna feel the warm emotions I used to be capable of feeling. Let me be held, let me hold someone, someone human, someone real. Let me hold and touch something other than paper. Let me be full again, let me feel alive...
But, please don't let the days to pass...
Thursday, October 8, 2009
I think I'm hungry.
'Cause my tummy feels empty...
Kellie Pickler - Best Days Of Your Life
'Cause I'll be there in the back of your mind,
From the day we met to you making me cry.
And it's just too bad.
You've already had the best days,
The best days of your life.
Ain't it a shame,
A shame that every time you hear my name
Brought up in a casual conversation
You can't think straight?
Ain't it sad you can't forget about what we had?
Take a look at her, and do you like what you see
or do you wish it was me?
'Cause I'll be there in the back of your mind,
From the day we met to the very last night.
And it's just too bad.
You've already had the best days,
The best days of your life.
Does she know, know about the times you used to hold me,
Wrap me in your arms,
And how you told me I'd be the only one?
Heard about (yeah, someone told me)
Once when you were out she went a little crazy,
Ran her mouth about me.
Ain't jealousy funny?
'Cause I'll be there in the back of your mind,
From the day we met to the very last night.
And it's just too bad.
You've already had the best days,
The best days of your
Life with me was a fairy tale love.
I was head-over-heels 'til you threw away us.
And it's just too bad.
You've already had the best days,
The best days of your life.
I heard you're gonna get married,
Have a nice little family,
Live out my dreams with someone new.
But I've been told that a cheater is always a cheater,
And I've got my pride
And she's got you.
'Cause I'll be there in the back of your mind,
From the day we met to you making me cry.
And it's just too bad.
You've already had the best days,
The best days of your life.
Of your life.
Yeah
You're gonna think of me.
You're gonna think of me.
Of your life.
Of your life.
It's a shame.
It's a shame.
But I ate a whole curry puff just now...
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Overwhelming emotions.
Baby, you shoud have called me...
I know I should be studying, burying my head into my books. 30 [or is it 29?] days more and yet I waste my time away... But I can't help it. I can't concentrate. I'll like to blame it on the heat and all, but I keep feeling like everything's slipping away. God knows why. I just wanna feel your arms around me for a bit.
Can't believe that I'm a fool again...
I know I should be studying, burying my head into my books. 30 [or is it 29?] days more and yet I waste my time away... But I can't help it. I can't concentrate. I'll like to blame it on the heat and all, but I keep feeling like everything's slipping away. God knows why. I just wanna feel your arms around me for a bit.
Can't believe that I'm a fool again...
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
It has to be the weather.
I just want to close my eyes, just want to fall asleep...
The weather is always like that at this time of the year. Unusually cold, and windy... Sometime last year, I still had this silly navy blue, oversized Adidas windbreaker that kept me warm on colder nights. Had this burnt patch on the fabric of the right (or was it left?) shoulder and funny old strings hanging to the ground. Nevertheless, kept me really warm...
'Cause I miss you, babe...
The weather is always like that at this time of the year. Unusually cold, and windy... Sometime last year, I still had this silly navy blue, oversized Adidas windbreaker that kept me warm on colder nights. Had this burnt patch on the fabric of the right (or was it left?) shoulder and funny old strings hanging to the ground. Nevertheless, kept me really warm...
'Cause I miss you, babe...
Goosebumps.
Do you get them?
Those little bumpy tingly lumps on the surface of your skin. I get goosebumps when I really need to shit, but I already shitted today. I get them when someone tells me a sad story, but the only sounds I hear are my music and the rain. So, maybe I'm getting them because it's too darn cold and the rain outside is making me feel upset...
Or maybe it's the fear that I may lose you, today? Who knows?
Those little bumpy tingly lumps on the surface of your skin. I get goosebumps when I really need to shit, but I already shitted today. I get them when someone tells me a sad story, but the only sounds I hear are my music and the rain. So, maybe I'm getting them because it's too darn cold and the rain outside is making me feel upset...
Or maybe it's the fear that I may lose you, today? Who knows?
Give me a 5th of June.
I've been awake since 8:47am but still am lying here.
Someone, hug me from the back and pull me close, whisper to me that I've gotta get up. Or kiss me on my lips and startle me awake, and whisper that I've gotta get up. Play with my hair and hold me warm, whispering to me that I've gotta get up... Or lift me up above your shoulders in, (what was that called?), ahh yes - a fireman's carry?
Anything at all...
Someone, hug me from the back and pull me close, whisper to me that I've gotta get up. Or kiss me on my lips and startle me awake, and whisper that I've gotta get up. Play with my hair and hold me warm, whispering to me that I've gotta get up... Or lift me up above your shoulders in, (what was that called?), ahh yes - a fireman's carry?
Anything at all...
Before you know it.
So gradual but yet too darn fast...
If I go back to where the rocks are painted "28" in yellow and where the sun never seems to fade, where the waves crash in a perfect rhythm, and the wind runs through my hair, will the numbers now be different, will it storm from day to day? Will the waves crash too high and drown me, will the wind blow me away?
Too afraid to move an inch, too afraid to run.
If I go back to where the rocks are painted "28" in yellow and where the sun never seems to fade, where the waves crash in a perfect rhythm, and the wind runs through my hair, will the numbers now be different, will it storm from day to day? Will the waves crash too high and drown me, will the wind blow me away?
Too afraid to move an inch, too afraid to run.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Love.
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Monday, August 24, 2009
Mad rush.
She said I don't think it's here leh... Nope. not here. Sorry.
To whoever who stole my textbook from my pigeonhole: [I will not swear] Just remember, what goes around comes around. You will get your darn retribution back. Your low act of stealing might go to waste and you might just end up failing your Geography, or maybe all your subjects, eventually.
If I actually do discover my book lying around at home again, I'll kill myself.
To whoever who stole my textbook from my pigeonhole: [I will not swear] Just remember, what goes around comes around. You will get your darn retribution back. Your low act of stealing might go to waste and you might just end up failing your Geography, or maybe all your subjects, eventually.
If I actually do discover my book lying around at home again, I'll kill myself.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Drinking mugs.
A typical gift.
I just found a porcelaine snowman mug on my bedside drawer in a box. I think I might have received it for Christmas last year from my Angel. Shahril, was it? I didn't use it though. I don't like having too many cups. There's only one mug I use at home, and have been using it for ages actually.
You know, previously, I use to have plastic cups that Daddy bought from Ang Mo Kio. I always broke them by dropping them or like hitting them accidentally. They either chip or just fell apart after a year or so and I'll throw them. But my Tigger mug, I've been using that for three years already and it's pretty intact, if you ask me.
Almost a quarter of my life.
I just found a porcelaine snowman mug on my bedside drawer in a box. I think I might have received it for Christmas last year from my Angel. Shahril, was it? I didn't use it though. I don't like having too many cups. There's only one mug I use at home, and have been using it for ages actually.
You know, previously, I use to have plastic cups that Daddy bought from Ang Mo Kio. I always broke them by dropping them or like hitting them accidentally. They either chip or just fell apart after a year or so and I'll throw them. But my Tigger mug, I've been using that for three years already and it's pretty intact, if you ask me.
Almost a quarter of my life.
I should stop this difference thing.
No one likes pain, that's for sure...
But if I was some higher being that appeared before you one day and said "I'll allow you to feel only one kind of pain for the rest of your life but you have to make a choice now, between physical pain or emotional pain." Which would you choose? I mean, pain's good right. Helps you stay strong, stay alive. Tells you you're living.
I think I'll reject my offer if I were you.
But if I was some higher being that appeared before you one day and said "I'll allow you to feel only one kind of pain for the rest of your life but you have to make a choice now, between physical pain or emotional pain." Which would you choose? I mean, pain's good right. Helps you stay strong, stay alive. Tells you you're living.
I think I'll reject my offer if I were you.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
No second chance.
Sorry to steal your little line, Mister Lim.
No second chance, no second chance. Yeah, that's what he said. No second chance. He said that, too many times to count and, really, I hate to say this but - things do work that way. You get it once but never twice. No matter what it is. If you get it back, it's never exact, never same.
I'm damn puzzled right now. And that the honest to God truth.
No second chance, no second chance. Yeah, that's what he said. No second chance. He said that, too many times to count and, really, I hate to say this but - things do work that way. You get it once but never twice. No matter what it is. If you get it back, it's never exact, never same.
I'm damn puzzled right now. And that the honest to God truth.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
One more difference.
Happiness.
I figured, just like fear, happiness can be different too. You have the type that makes you jumpy, crazy and impossibly wanting to scream and shout. The type that plasters a smile on your face, but that normally fades fast. And, finally, the type that lights a warm fire in the pit of your tummy, keeping your insides warm. Not too hot, not too cold. Just right.
Happy Brithday, Darling. When you're twenty-six, that'll be half your lifespan!
I figured, just like fear, happiness can be different too. You have the type that makes you jumpy, crazy and impossibly wanting to scream and shout. The type that plasters a smile on your face, but that normally fades fast. And, finally, the type that lights a warm fire in the pit of your tummy, keeping your insides warm. Not too hot, not too cold. Just right.
Happy Brithday, Darling. When you're twenty-six, that'll be half your lifespan!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Different.
Many things are different.
People are different. Colours are different. So, since so many things can be different, I guess so can fear. Right? Like if I tell you, this doesn't feel like the kind of fear that make you jump or cry. It's the kind that makes you wanna crawl into a peanut shell and be so tiny and non-existent in hopes that everything just disappears.
You do understand right? I mean, doesn't everyone wanna be a peanut at some point of time?
People are different. Colours are different. So, since so many things can be different, I guess so can fear. Right? Like if I tell you, this doesn't feel like the kind of fear that make you jump or cry. It's the kind that makes you wanna crawl into a peanut shell and be so tiny and non-existent in hopes that everything just disappears.
You do understand right? I mean, doesn't everyone wanna be a peanut at some point of time?
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Just thinking...
She said My father, mother, brother, and you...
I keep getting scratched my Tigger and it's been annoying the guts in me for the past few days. Every corner I turn, I'll feel him, ready to pounce. Sometimes, I'll be fast enough to turn around and scream at him, scare him off. Sometimes, I don't see him coming and he just scratches me deep and it bleeds. Only because he has the ability to, because he can.
Aww! I'm family!
Yeah yeah, shut up. So, has she replaced me or am I just out?
I keep getting scratched my Tigger and it's been annoying the guts in me for the past few days. Every corner I turn, I'll feel him, ready to pounce. Sometimes, I'll be fast enough to turn around and scream at him, scare him off. Sometimes, I don't see him coming and he just scratches me deep and it bleeds. Only because he has the ability to, because he can.
Aww! I'm family!
Yeah yeah, shut up. So, has she replaced me or am I just out?
Thursday, August 13, 2009
All under one category.
So many words in the dictionary...
G!NJ05@
Like a computer generated code.
But yet, I just cant find any that fits...
G!NJ05@
Like a computer generated code.
But yet, I just cant find any that fits...
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
One [and only] big disadvantage.
I'd gladly go.
Cause the list of incentives are endless, really, if you think about it. The freedom the roam, to learn to breathe. The time to myself, the private bedroom without you beating me awake or slamming your foot into my sides... Oh, wouldn't it be nice. My dear sister, why wouldn't I? A life without you. Wouldn't that be nice?
Only one [not so] little problem - I'd like to bring someone else along.
Cause the list of incentives are endless, really, if you think about it. The freedom the roam, to learn to breathe. The time to myself, the private bedroom without you beating me awake or slamming your foot into my sides... Oh, wouldn't it be nice. My dear sister, why wouldn't I? A life without you. Wouldn't that be nice?
Only one [not so] little problem - I'd like to bring someone else along.
With only one goal in mind.
Two years and three more months.
As I unscrew the lid to my relatively untouched savings, and dig for coins, counting the tens and the twenties ever so carefully, I tell myself to think of then. And as I walk pass the keys, ignoring their sweet calls that echoe in my mind, I remind myself to think of the day I'll walk out of here free.
Free. Free as a bird.
As I unscrew the lid to my relatively untouched savings, and dig for coins, counting the tens and the twenties ever so carefully, I tell myself to think of then. And as I walk pass the keys, ignoring their sweet calls that echoe in my mind, I remind myself to think of the day I'll walk out of here free.
Free. Free as a bird.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Living things talk to me.
Well, at least some do.
Like some keys, for example, always call out to me Min Jun, Min Jun! Turn me, please! Pity that only some keys talk to me, you know. My home keys, unfortunately, are an exception. I wish exam papers spoke to me too though. They could go Min Jun, you should write "2" onto my dotted line right here. And "789" over here, and "38/7" under there!
You know those little holes on keys? Those are the mouths.
Like some keys, for example, always call out to me Min Jun, Min Jun! Turn me, please! Pity that only some keys talk to me, you know. My home keys, unfortunately, are an exception. I wish exam papers spoke to me too though. They could go Min Jun, you should write "2" onto my dotted line right here. And "789" over here, and "38/7" under there!
You know those little holes on keys? Those are the mouths.
Monday, August 3, 2009
When the dog bites, when the bee stings...
I simply remember my favourite things...
Let me just find myself on the breakwaters, under the warm warm sun. May thirteenth, you say? Let me be sitting on the edge, with my toes in the water, let me feel the waves beating against my feet. Let me enjoy the breeze for a moment, let me stretch a little. Let me tear a bit - how wonderful Life is. Let me, before I plunge into the beautiful sea.
... And then I don't feel, so sad.
Let me just find myself on the breakwaters, under the warm warm sun. May thirteenth, you say? Let me be sitting on the edge, with my toes in the water, let me feel the waves beating against my feet. Let me enjoy the breeze for a moment, let me stretch a little. Let me tear a bit - how wonderful Life is. Let me, before I plunge into the beautiful sea.
... And then I don't feel, so sad.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Something sudden.
Hits me without a warning.
The urge to cycle, under the hot burning sun, with the breeze hitting me in the face. This overwhelming depressing feeling of loss, as if someone I know has passed on to the next life. A deep need for some comfort, some warmth, some sort of affection. The want to sit by the breakwaters, in your arms.
I might crumble.
The urge to cycle, under the hot burning sun, with the breeze hitting me in the face. This overwhelming depressing feeling of loss, as if someone I know has passed on to the next life. A deep need for some comfort, some warmth, some sort of affection. The want to sit by the breakwaters, in your arms.
I might crumble.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Vacuum-packed.
What would it be like?
To swallow a vacuum packing machine. Would it suck up your insides and leave your feeling sick and hollow but yet robbed of substance to puke? If you stuck a vacuum nozzle down your throat, would you be robbed of air? Would you feel as if your insides are falling out and you're just getting all twisted, inside-out?
Would it feel like this?
To swallow a vacuum packing machine. Would it suck up your insides and leave your feeling sick and hollow but yet robbed of substance to puke? If you stuck a vacuum nozzle down your throat, would you be robbed of air? Would you feel as if your insides are falling out and you're just getting all twisted, inside-out?
Would it feel like this?
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Déjà vu.
I've drowned before.
It was in a 1.8metre pool and I was eleven years old. Ke Qun assumed I could swim and dragged me into the deepest end, tugging onto my leg really hard. I held on to my sister for dear life but she screamed and said to let go, I was dragging her down. And so I did. And the sensation's impossible, so impossible to forget...
The water's so high and I cant breathe. I'm kicking and kicking and flapping my arms, trying to thread the water. As I hit the bottom of the pool, I kick again to get to the surface but I just cant breathe in enough. Water keeps flowing into my mouth and nose and I'm choking, suffocating. And at that moment, I just thought to myself, I'm going to die.
It felt like forever.
It was in a 1.8metre pool and I was eleven years old. Ke Qun assumed I could swim and dragged me into the deepest end, tugging onto my leg really hard. I held on to my sister for dear life but she screamed and said to let go, I was dragging her down. And so I did. And the sensation's impossible, so impossible to forget...
The water's so high and I cant breathe. I'm kicking and kicking and flapping my arms, trying to thread the water. As I hit the bottom of the pool, I kick again to get to the surface but I just cant breathe in enough. Water keeps flowing into my mouth and nose and I'm choking, suffocating. And at that moment, I just thought to myself, I'm going to die.
It felt like forever.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Rope burns.
They can really really sting.
They dont hurt like normal burns, no. Not like the burns you get from touching a hot kettle... The last time I got them was years back. When Snowy ran after someone and I got too shocked to think, I held onto the thick nylon leash too hard and too long and it burned through my skin.
Goodnight.
They dont hurt like normal burns, no. Not like the burns you get from touching a hot kettle... The last time I got them was years back. When Snowy ran after someone and I got too shocked to think, I held onto the thick nylon leash too hard and too long and it burned through my skin.
Goodnight.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
All I ask for.
Shelter by Corrinne May
What's wrong what's getting you down?
Is it something I might have said?
You're walking around with your head to the ground
And your eyes a watery red
I know you've been through tought times
Kicked around thrown to the ground
But you've always been the strong one
So don't tell me that nobody gets you
'Cause I'm standing in your corner
Knocking at your door
You don't have to be alone
Just call my name, let me be an answer
'Cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain, help me understand
Let me be your shelter, my friend
We share a bond, you and I, we belong
We're like coffee and morning treats
You strip my defences, I catch your pretenses
The same blood runs through our veins
I swore I'll be your lifeline, made a vow
That I'd surround you with love at every milestone
I'll listen when nobody gets you
I'm standing in your corner
Waiting by your door
You don't have to be alone
Just call my name, let me be an answer
'Cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna easy your pain, let me understand
Let me be your shelter, my friend
It was not too long ago
You sought to understand
You helped me mend
Remember when
So, promise me
You'll call my name, let me be an answer
'Cause it hurts to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain, let me understand
Let me be your shelter, my friend
What's wrong what's getting you down?
Is it something I might have said?
You're walking around with your head to the ground
And your eyes a watery red
I know you've been through tought times
Kicked around thrown to the ground
But you've always been the strong one
So don't tell me that nobody gets you
'Cause I'm standing in your corner
Knocking at your door
You don't have to be alone
Just call my name, let me be an answer
'Cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain, help me understand
Let me be your shelter, my friend
We share a bond, you and I, we belong
We're like coffee and morning treats
You strip my defences, I catch your pretenses
The same blood runs through our veins
I swore I'll be your lifeline, made a vow
That I'd surround you with love at every milestone
I'll listen when nobody gets you
I'm standing in your corner
Waiting by your door
You don't have to be alone
Just call my name, let me be an answer
'Cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna easy your pain, let me understand
Let me be your shelter, my friend
It was not too long ago
You sought to understand
You helped me mend
Remember when
So, promise me
You'll call my name, let me be an answer
'Cause it hurts to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain, let me understand
Let me be your shelter, my friend
Not so good with words.
Not something I wanted.
Not that same fuzzy feeling in your tummy when you think of something nice that makes you happy. Not the little bit of nervousness that makes your tummy flutter. Not anything normal or nice; it keeps flipping and flipping and, finally now, it feels like a hollow vacuum, sucking everything in. I'm sorry.
I think I might be eaten up. By myself.
Not that same fuzzy feeling in your tummy when you think of something nice that makes you happy. Not the little bit of nervousness that makes your tummy flutter. Not anything normal or nice; it keeps flipping and flipping and, finally now, it feels like a hollow vacuum, sucking everything in. I'm sorry.
I think I might be eaten up. By myself.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Wow.
Just a few places in Mind.
La Digue Island's Anse Marron beach.
La Digue's one of the Seychelles Islands. Grand Anse beach.
And Machu Picchu, situated on the mountain ridge off the Urabamba Valley of Peru.
The Lost City Of The Incas.
Fly me away.
La Digue Island's Anse Marron beach.
La Digue's one of the Seychelles Islands. Grand Anse beach.
And Machu Picchu, situated on the mountain ridge off the Urabamba Valley of Peru.
The Lost City Of The Incas.
Fly me away.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Always will be your's.
He types as he listens You'll always be my baby...
They say that nothing lasts. And I agree, because friends come and go and lovers fade and disappear. And that's when I realise how very different you are. Sure, nothing lasts, and I won't beg to differ because nothing could be put more accurately than that. And, I know, that this feeling will never last. It won't stay the same.
Because it keeps growing stronger, everyday.
They say that nothing lasts. And I agree, because friends come and go and lovers fade and disappear. And that's when I realise how very different you are. Sure, nothing lasts, and I won't beg to differ because nothing could be put more accurately than that. And, I know, that this feeling will never last. It won't stay the same.
Because it keeps growing stronger, everyday.
Worth remembering.
You never know what's comin' for ya.
And I'm just sitting there, on that yellow leather couch of mine, eyes fixed on Brad Pitt and suddenly, I don't feel quite at home anymore. The leather seat feels different and the warm air begins to turn cold. The bright lights almost seemed to dim to near darkness and then, just for a moment, I feel your arms, snug around me. Just for a moment.
The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button.
And I'm just sitting there, on that yellow leather couch of mine, eyes fixed on Brad Pitt and suddenly, I don't feel quite at home anymore. The leather seat feels different and the warm air begins to turn cold. The bright lights almost seemed to dim to near darkness and then, just for a moment, I feel your arms, snug around me. Just for a moment.
The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Binging.
I'd say my saliva's saturated.
It's been a long time and it's not a very good idea to stuff about a 150g of sickeningly sweet gummies down one's throat at one go and create that thick annoying phlegmy texture of saliva and aching dry throat, and that strange sugar rush that's barely going anywhere. I know, I know - it's unhealthy and all...
But who's gonna stop me?
It's been a long time and it's not a very good idea to stuff about a 150g of sickeningly sweet gummies down one's throat at one go and create that thick annoying phlegmy texture of saliva and aching dry throat, and that strange sugar rush that's barely going anywhere. I know, I know - it's unhealthy and all...
But who's gonna stop me?
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Peesed.
He says how did you spell that?
The other day, I was telling my sister, as I picked up the chopper to dry it and put it back into the kitchen drawer, that everytime I take it out, I feel like chopping someone up. And she asked why. And I said, because I wonder what it'll look like. You better thank God there weren't no chopper.
Then, I said, I'm P-E-E-S-E-D, very very peesed.
The other day, I was telling my sister, as I picked up the chopper to dry it and put it back into the kitchen drawer, that everytime I take it out, I feel like chopping someone up. And she asked why. And I said, because I wonder what it'll look like. You better thank God there weren't no chopper.
Then, I said, I'm P-E-E-S-E-D, very very peesed.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Pearly whites.
I can't wait to smile without...
Vegetable stuck in the metal brackets, and meat stuck between rubber bands. Worrying that someone will see the long piece of mee pok stuck under the metal hook in front. Thinking that everyone's looking at how my once blue rubber bands have turned a distinct green after consuming indian curry.
I'm praying I'll have these things off by Monday.
Vegetable stuck in the metal brackets, and meat stuck between rubber bands. Worrying that someone will see the long piece of mee pok stuck under the metal hook in front. Thinking that everyone's looking at how my once blue rubber bands have turned a distinct green after consuming indian curry.
I'm praying I'll have these things off by Monday.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
My favourite things.
No, they aren't raindrops on kittens. Oops, roses I meant.
The fun of receiving curious looks during recess, as if they're wondering if we're a trio of sickos who enjoy sharing each other. The fun of basking under the East Coast sun. The laughter while walking Snowy. The joy of catching fishes from the sea in Bintan. And, getting drunk on Margaritas late at night in the hotel bar...
Raindrops on kittens. That's sick.
The fun of receiving curious looks during recess, as if they're wondering if we're a trio of sickos who enjoy sharing each other. The fun of basking under the East Coast sun. The laughter while walking Snowy. The joy of catching fishes from the sea in Bintan. And, getting drunk on Margaritas late at night in the hotel bar...
Raindrops on kittens. That's sick.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Different people.
I'm reading this book titled You Remind Me Of Me.
There's a character Jonah. Well, he's 23 now, or so, and he's still desperately trying to figure his life out, wandering around aimlessly, lost. He had a dysfunctional single mom and horrendously low self-esteem, especially due to being mauled to death [and later revived in hospital] by his own dog when he was aged 6.
At 23, Jonah just is so pathetic. Truthfully, I hate reading about him. He's so darn weak and so mindless. He finally traced down his half-elder brother who his mom had given up for adoption, but yet, Jonah has a strange knack for making up events in his life to make it just sound interesting and complete. He created imaginery relatives too.
Just like Jonah, needless to say, there are all these strange people in the world. I mean, some aren't as unacceptably weird but some have a knack for doing and saying things we just won't and never can figure out why. We're all different I guess, just too darn different.
And sometimes, of course, some just aren't palatable enough for us, you know?
There's a character Jonah. Well, he's 23 now, or so, and he's still desperately trying to figure his life out, wandering around aimlessly, lost. He had a dysfunctional single mom and horrendously low self-esteem, especially due to being mauled to death [and later revived in hospital] by his own dog when he was aged 6.
At 23, Jonah just is so pathetic. Truthfully, I hate reading about him. He's so darn weak and so mindless. He finally traced down his half-elder brother who his mom had given up for adoption, but yet, Jonah has a strange knack for making up events in his life to make it just sound interesting and complete. He created imaginery relatives too.
Just like Jonah, needless to say, there are all these strange people in the world. I mean, some aren't as unacceptably weird but some have a knack for doing and saying things we just won't and never can figure out why. We're all different I guess, just too darn different.
And sometimes, of course, some just aren't palatable enough for us, you know?
Friday, June 5, 2009
Come what may.
One day...
As I cleared the dishes, I could almost feel your arms around me, again. Your tears dampening my fingertips, my palm against the side of your face. I could, yes, almost feel the skin of your earlobe against my lips as I whispered a promise that I will fulfil.
... We'll be together, proper.
As I cleared the dishes, I could almost feel your arms around me, again. Your tears dampening my fingertips, my palm against the side of your face. I could, yes, almost feel the skin of your earlobe against my lips as I whispered a promise that I will fulfil.
... We'll be together, proper.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
What a beautiful day!
Had fun conversationwith Carmina today.
We were talking, and I could hear the people behind us whispering. Mrs Wallace talking. Papers flipping. Girls giggling. Carmina and I still talking... No, Carmina. It's so bad that there's no way to look at it and see good. No matter how you twist it, no matter what angle you won't see it in a good perspective... We stop, and there's a long silence.
Finally, afer some thought, I continue, it's like looking at Jin Jun's face. We burst out laughing.
We were talking, and I could hear the people behind us whispering. Mrs Wallace talking. Papers flipping. Girls giggling. Carmina and I still talking... No, Carmina. It's so bad that there's no way to look at it and see good. No matter how you twist it, no matter what angle you won't see it in a good perspective... We stop, and there's a long silence.
Finally, afer some thought, I continue, it's like looking at Jin Jun's face. We burst out laughing.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Snip, snip.
Yucks! She stinks!
She struggled, we tugged. She moved, we hugged. She's tangled and we're combing but the knots ain't moving. And when that trouble was done, I thought hey, this is quite fun. But the splashing began, together with the washing. After drying and blowing and loads of sighing, a new dog emerge from under, her bark as loud as thunder?
Then the wonder rush begun.
She struggled, we tugged. She moved, we hugged. She's tangled and we're combing but the knots ain't moving. And when that trouble was done, I thought hey, this is quite fun. But the splashing began, together with the washing. After drying and blowing and loads of sighing, a new dog emerge from under, her bark as loud as thunder?
Then the wonder rush begun.
Friday, May 22, 2009
If interrogated.
Okay, I can safely say that yes, I do feel wonderful tonight...
If she asks Min Jun, did he bring you out to drink? I'll say no, of course not! If she asks Did he treat you well? I'll say duh. And if she asks What exactly is wrong with you? I'll say Man, I don't know. And if she goes on to ask You're acting high, as if you're on drugs! Are you? I'll laugh Hahaha, yes, I am. My very own kind.
And the dog leash just went click-click on itself.
If she asks Min Jun, did he bring you out to drink? I'll say no, of course not! If she asks Did he treat you well? I'll say duh. And if she asks What exactly is wrong with you? I'll say Man, I don't know. And if she goes on to ask You're acting high, as if you're on drugs! Are you? I'll laugh Hahaha, yes, I am. My very own kind.
And the dog leash just went click-click on itself.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Wonderful, tonight.
And I say yes, I feel wonderful tonight...
I feel wonderful because I finally realised. I have a question or two though. Well, really, I just want to know how much, you know. How friggtening? Like death? Maybe like the boogeyman? Godzilla? Ghostly kind of frigtening? Come on, baby, I just wanna know. As frightening as the dark is to me, maybe?
You see, if you were to throw me into a dark cold dungeon in which I can't even see my own feet, I would scream. I'd cry, I'd go crazy. The dark envelops me and scares the shit out of me. It wouldn't have anything to do with the cold. Only the eery, creeping darkness that doesn't fail to suffocate the life out of me.
Oh, and on top of Wonderful Tonight, I was listening to Angel's Wings just now - that cheesy Westlife song? Cause when you're in my arms, you make me prouder than anything I could achieve, remember? Or maybe you arrived on angel's wings, that angelic confirmation? Ring a bell?
Hmmm, what was the next song? Oh, yes! It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away!
I feel wonderful because I finally realised. I have a question or two though. Well, really, I just want to know how much, you know. How friggtening? Like death? Maybe like the boogeyman? Godzilla? Ghostly kind of frigtening? Come on, baby, I just wanna know. As frightening as the dark is to me, maybe?
You see, if you were to throw me into a dark cold dungeon in which I can't even see my own feet, I would scream. I'd cry, I'd go crazy. The dark envelops me and scares the shit out of me. It wouldn't have anything to do with the cold. Only the eery, creeping darkness that doesn't fail to suffocate the life out of me.
Oh, and on top of Wonderful Tonight, I was listening to Angel's Wings just now - that cheesy Westlife song? Cause when you're in my arms, you make me prouder than anything I could achieve, remember? Or maybe you arrived on angel's wings, that angelic confirmation? Ring a bell?
Hmmm, what was the next song? Oh, yes! It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
To slice.
Have you sliced a cherry open before?
And as you watch the knife press into the skin of that dark red fruit, the pressure causes a deep depression. You're pressing, slicing, and suddenly at the right perfect moment, it just splits. The skin splits, allowing that red dark liquid to flow out onto your fingers, staining them the color of blood.
To kill.
And as you watch the knife press into the skin of that dark red fruit, the pressure causes a deep depression. You're pressing, slicing, and suddenly at the right perfect moment, it just splits. The skin splits, allowing that red dark liquid to flow out onto your fingers, staining them the color of blood.
To kill.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Another typical Wednesday.
Wednesdays are bad.
You know those days that you get up from bed and something just doesn't feel right? You just feel uncomfortable as if something just isn't in place. And everywhere you turn, something reminds you about how horrible everything feels. And then, before you know it, everything goes bad. Really bad.
I hate Wednesdays.
You know those days that you get up from bed and something just doesn't feel right? You just feel uncomfortable as if something just isn't in place. And everywhere you turn, something reminds you about how horrible everything feels. And then, before you know it, everything goes bad. Really bad.
I hate Wednesdays.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Game over.
She spat You retarded little piece of shit in perhaps the most affectionate way possible.
You know, those old-school kinda computer games like Super Mario of Sonix The Hedgehog? When you die by falling into water or in the stupidest way possible, why does it have to play that irritating music that just annoys the guts out of you when, ultimately, the annoying little tune only means one thing - you're dead - game's over.
Go to Nokia F-ing Care for heaven's sake.
You know, those old-school kinda computer games like Super Mario of Sonix The Hedgehog? When you die by falling into water or in the stupidest way possible, why does it have to play that irritating music that just annoys the guts out of you when, ultimately, the annoying little tune only means one thing - you're dead - game's over.
Go to Nokia F-ing Care for heaven's sake.
Goldilocks.
We all know the story of Goldilocks and the three bears.
Why do we always blame Goldilocks for being greedy - breaking their chairs, sleeping in their beds, eating their bowls or porridge? Don't any of you wonder if she had a reason for eating their porridge? Maybe she was a starving, fatigue homeless kid who was just happy to finally find food and rest!
I'm sure she didn't find it easy making those choices either.
Why do we always blame Goldilocks for being greedy - breaking their chairs, sleeping in their beds, eating their bowls or porridge? Don't any of you wonder if she had a reason for eating their porridge? Maybe she was a starving, fatigue homeless kid who was just happy to finally find food and rest!
I'm sure she didn't find it easy making those choices either.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Another glass broken
Another glass gone.
It's those kind of guest cups that I broke, but i use them all the time. Plus, I always have had a habit of having drinking water next to me before I sleep so I dont have to walk out to the kitchen for a drink you see.
Today when I saw that familiar little glass falling to the ground and heard the same crashing sound for the third time this month, I thought - how many glasses to break before we have none? Before I know it, if no one buys any news ones, I might lose them all.
My brother says 21 years of bad luck.
It's those kind of guest cups that I broke, but i use them all the time. Plus, I always have had a habit of having drinking water next to me before I sleep so I dont have to walk out to the kitchen for a drink you see.
Today when I saw that familiar little glass falling to the ground and heard the same crashing sound for the third time this month, I thought - how many glasses to break before we have none? Before I know it, if no one buys any news ones, I might lose them all.
My brother says 21 years of bad luck.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Coke in a giant Tigger mug.
As he placed the straw to his lips, he said don't worry, we're waiting!
The look on his face was hilarious when he came out of my kitchen to realise we had left him cooking and started without him. We all had one straw each. Mine transparent, stripped black. Geraldine's pink, Si Kai's grey and Chee Hao's was black... That was a hell lot of coke, actually.
It's level decreased the way, I believe, the time till Wednesday would too.
The look on his face was hilarious when he came out of my kitchen to realise we had left him cooking and started without him. We all had one straw each. Mine transparent, stripped black. Geraldine's pink, Si Kai's grey and Chee Hao's was black... That was a hell lot of coke, actually.
It's level decreased the way, I believe, the time till Wednesday would too.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Never really happened.
Why aren't you picking up?
In The Other Boleyn girl, the movie, when Anne fails to produce a legitimate male heir to the throne, she is pressured by Henry VII. In a desperate attempt to fufil the kings wishes for a heir to the throne, Anne asks her brother to try to impregnate her. Actually, they never got down to it but she was arrested, anyway. And beheaded, finally.
Anne Boleyn, technically, was innocent.
In The Other Boleyn girl, the movie, when Anne fails to produce a legitimate male heir to the throne, she is pressured by Henry VII. In a desperate attempt to fufil the kings wishes for a heir to the throne, Anne asks her brother to try to impregnate her. Actually, they never got down to it but she was arrested, anyway. And beheaded, finally.
Anne Boleyn, technically, was innocent.
A surprise a day keeps the sadness away?
I said It's so pretty!
And the blue of the stamp was a complementing blue, it was the perfect shade. As was the pink of the orchids and the font on the stamp. The blue was beautiful, and Min Ying agreed. It was hard not to anyway. Even the white ink complemented the stamp's teeth.
Then, does 6 surprises in one day make sure you'll always stay?
And the blue of the stamp was a complementing blue, it was the perfect shade. As was the pink of the orchids and the font on the stamp. The blue was beautiful, and Min Ying agreed. It was hard not to anyway. Even the white ink complemented the stamp's teeth.
Then, does 6 surprises in one day make sure you'll always stay?
Monday, April 20, 2009
Storm.
He sings If I could just see you, everything will be alright. If I'd see you the storminess will turn to light .
I guess we all have our days. And, duh, our bad. You know, the type of day that everything just doesn't go right - when trucks splash greyish mud water all over you just as your MP3 runs low on battery when you need it really badly on the lonely trip home...
And I will walk on water and you will catch me if I fall. And I will get lost into your eyes and everything will be alright.
I guess we all have our days. And, duh, our bad. You know, the type of day that everything just doesn't go right - when trucks splash greyish mud water all over you just as your MP3 runs low on battery when you need it really badly on the lonely trip home...
And I will walk on water and you will catch me if I fall. And I will get lost into your eyes and everything will be alright.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
The tears that trickle down my cheek.
I'm sad, really sad.
Because I just wasted the last 51 minutes and 58 seconds of my life watching the most boring animation ever created - Horton. I've never had an animation make me yawn like 40 times consecutively. Nor cause me to constantly tell myself you could be doing something more useful than this.
Yawn.
Because I just wasted the last 51 minutes and 58 seconds of my life watching the most boring animation ever created - Horton. I've never had an animation make me yawn like 40 times consecutively. Nor cause me to constantly tell myself you could be doing something more useful than this.
Yawn.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Cold bloody turkey.
Withdrawal, withdrawal, symptoms.
You know hoo-oww you you, see tho-thosee those people whoo-who who go thrroughh Col-coldd Turr-turr-key treeatme-nt-nttt? And and they like cannn-cann-- cannot speak prop-properly? And instea-ad they they, stamm-stammer? And shi-ver-ver?
Not that bad. Yet.
You know hoo-oww you you, see tho-thosee those people whoo-who who go thrroughh Col-coldd Turr-turr-key treeatme-nt-nttt? And and they like cannn-cann-- cannot speak prop-properly? And instea-ad they they, stamm-stammer? And shi-ver-ver?
Not that bad. Yet.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Drink stall auntie.
I'd said zhe ge duo sao ar [how much is this in mandarin]?
I knew this drink stall auntie who's eyes were constantly unfocused. Some would call it lazy eye or crossed-eyed or mata-kelok. Whatever the case, this drink stall auntie got my order right, even though it didn't seem like she was quite paying attention to me cause she couldn't focus her sight on me alone.
Truth is, I don't even know what I'm typing.
I knew this drink stall auntie who's eyes were constantly unfocused. Some would call it lazy eye or crossed-eyed or mata-kelok. Whatever the case, this drink stall auntie got my order right, even though it didn't seem like she was quite paying attention to me cause she couldn't focus her sight on me alone.
Truth is, I don't even know what I'm typing.
Not the most photogenic, obviously.
I know it may seem like an obsession. But...
Oh, it ain't a neoprint photo. It was the adjusted contrast, that's all.
Oh, it ain't a neoprint photo. It was the adjusted contrast, that's all.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Oohchi go.
He sang I gave you my heart...
I will count the seconds, the days, every hour and every dreadful moment. I will wait for the day that you finally return to Singapore, whenever that may be. I'm making it sound like three awful years but I know it's gonna feel that long, unfortunately.
Take care, baby.
I will count the seconds, the days, every hour and every dreadful moment. I will wait for the day that you finally return to Singapore, whenever that may be. I'm making it sound like three awful years but I know it's gonna feel that long, unfortunately.
Take care, baby.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Absence makes the heart grow a hell lot fonder.
He said wassup, idiots.
It was the look in his eyes and that smile [which all of us bore] that made everything seem like yesterday. Like nothing happened, like we never drifted. Like everything was normal and everything was beautiful again. It sounds awfully cheesy but it's as real as that. It was magical, really.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Angel's Wings.
And then I say always remember that one day, it wouldn't be them anymore, okay, baby?
Westlife - Angel's Wings
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Without the requirement of lyrics, the message is simple - I'm so darn thankful.
Westlife - Angel's Wings
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Without the requirement of lyrics, the message is simple - I'm so darn thankful.
Truth to be told.
He said I always feel sorry everytime I think back.
Westlife - Fool Again
Baby, I know the story,
I've seen the picture,
it's written all over your face
Tell me, what's the secret that you've been hiding?
And who's gonna take my place?
I should have seen it coming,
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over
Can't believe that I'm a fool again
I thought this love would never end, how was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm a fool again,
and I who thought you were my friend, how was I to know?
You never told me
Baby, you should've called me,
when you were lonely,
when you needed me to be there
Sadly, you never gave me
too many chances to show you how much I care
Ooh, should have seen it coming,
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over
Chorus
About the pain and the tears
Ooh, If I could, I would, turn back the time
Ooh yeah I should have seen it coming
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over
Chorus
A final let go.
Westlife - Fool Again
Baby, I know the story,
I've seen the picture,
it's written all over your face
Tell me, what's the secret that you've been hiding?
And who's gonna take my place?
I should have seen it coming,
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over
Can't believe that I'm a fool again
I thought this love would never end, how was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm a fool again,
and I who thought you were my friend, how was I to know?
You never told me
Baby, you should've called me,
when you were lonely,
when you needed me to be there
Sadly, you never gave me
too many chances to show you how much I care
Ooh, should have seen it coming,
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over
Chorus
About the pain and the tears
Ooh, If I could, I would, turn back the time
Ooh yeah I should have seen it coming
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over
Chorus
A final let go.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
So do you want to know the results?
He said I'm gonna keep you all in until one.
Her face was stretched back as if someone pulled her skin really tight from the top of her head. It was scrunched up in a weird sense. No, don't get me wrong - it wasn't in a bad, ugly sense. But she was smiling and laughing and at that moment, I just knew...
Finally a Gold band.
Her face was stretched back as if someone pulled her skin really tight from the top of her head. It was scrunched up in a weird sense. No, don't get me wrong - it wasn't in a bad, ugly sense. But she was smiling and laughing and at that moment, I just knew...
Finally a Gold band.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Would you name your daughter Tish?
And it writes One murder haunted Lieutenant Jonathan Stride for thiry years...
I'm gonna study for an hour. Well, at least finish my homework. Since I'm done Google-ing for the Chemistry assignment [which, by the way, is not me cheating. I'm following instructions], I don't think that would take too long. I can work on math after that. Good girl... At 5pm, I'm gonna leave for the library.
Tish? Tish.
I'm gonna study for an hour. Well, at least finish my homework. Since I'm done Google-ing for the Chemistry assignment [which, by the way, is not me cheating. I'm following instructions], I don't think that would take too long. I can work on math after that. Good girl... At 5pm, I'm gonna leave for the library.
Tish? Tish.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
The time to come seems already over.
And so he types keep a lid on it:)
Stupid me. I'm always misplacing stuff and forgetting where I put things. I spent about 5 minutes searching for my big purple comb yesterday to no avail. I was in a total fluster and I can never get my hair done up without a comb. If I couldn't find a comb - I'll never leave the house.
But [yes, always a "but"], when I pulled open my drawer, half in anger and another in anxiety, I found this tiny little foldable comb lying there - the same darn comb I had spent days looking for last time. I grabbed the comb, cursed under my breath and slammed the drawer shut.
Did I go on looking for the missing one though? No, not at all. It came looking for me. Sitting on top of my pile of junk of worksheets and books and unwanted newspapers on my school table, that evil little purple creature just sat there glowing at me as I entered the classroom and dragged myself to my desk.
Damned mornings. I forgot my analogy.
Stupid me. I'm always misplacing stuff and forgetting where I put things. I spent about 5 minutes searching for my big purple comb yesterday to no avail. I was in a total fluster and I can never get my hair done up without a comb. If I couldn't find a comb - I'll never leave the house.
But [yes, always a "but"], when I pulled open my drawer, half in anger and another in anxiety, I found this tiny little foldable comb lying there - the same darn comb I had spent days looking for last time. I grabbed the comb, cursed under my breath and slammed the drawer shut.
Did I go on looking for the missing one though? No, not at all. It came looking for me. Sitting on top of my pile of junk of worksheets and books and unwanted newspapers on my school table, that evil little purple creature just sat there glowing at me as I entered the classroom and dragged myself to my desk.
Damned mornings. I forgot my analogy.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Caffeine, coffee and what's more.
I said darn, am I bloody tired.
My head was spinning and my eyelids were drooping. I just needed sleep so badly. But her lessons just went on and on about Rates of Change. Don't get me wrong here - her voice wasn't the main factor putting me to sleep. It was something else I couldn't figure out. I just couldn't bloody keep awake.
So, I did the usual recalling of what I'd been doing within the last twelve hours or so. I figured 6 hours of sleep was more than sufficient. It was the norm for me. So I thought of my breakfast menu and realised I'd missed out my coffee. Daddy did not wake up as early, hence I did not get my daily dose of caffeine, specially brewed for me with TLC.
Coffee. Man, that addictive thing has gotten me hooked. Can't remember a day, (other than the dreadful yesterday), that I haven't had it before leaving the house. That thing keeps me awake, alive. Can't get through a day without it, I figured. Plus, having too much of it makes me high and just downright hyper - that crazy feeling of euphoria. Mmm!
I realised - you're pretty much like coffee. Just a whole lot better.
My head was spinning and my eyelids were drooping. I just needed sleep so badly. But her lessons just went on and on about Rates of Change. Don't get me wrong here - her voice wasn't the main factor putting me to sleep. It was something else I couldn't figure out. I just couldn't bloody keep awake.
So, I did the usual recalling of what I'd been doing within the last twelve hours or so. I figured 6 hours of sleep was more than sufficient. It was the norm for me. So I thought of my breakfast menu and realised I'd missed out my coffee. Daddy did not wake up as early, hence I did not get my daily dose of caffeine, specially brewed for me with TLC.
Coffee. Man, that addictive thing has gotten me hooked. Can't remember a day, (other than the dreadful yesterday), that I haven't had it before leaving the house. That thing keeps me awake, alive. Can't get through a day without it, I figured. Plus, having too much of it makes me high and just downright hyper - that crazy feeling of euphoria. Mmm!
I realised - you're pretty much like coffee. Just a whole lot better.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
External warmth.
When your heart breaks, it can grow back crooked.
There was this point of time in Japan when I felt so cold and freezing. Even though I was indoors. Si Kai and Geraldine threw their jackets over me and so did Michelle. I had mine over me too of course. But I was still so cold and shivering and even with the jackets over me, my insides still felt so cold. Even the warmth didn't radiate.
It grows back twisted and gnarled and hard.
There was this point of time in Japan when I felt so cold and freezing. Even though I was indoors. Si Kai and Geraldine threw their jackets over me and so did Michelle. I had mine over me too of course. But I was still so cold and shivering and even with the jackets over me, my insides still felt so cold. Even the warmth didn't radiate.
It grows back twisted and gnarled and hard.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Bye bye bye.
He sings here's my bright idea - I'll just disappear.
And I was just recalling the way you dumped your earpiece onto my lap, sulking and annoyed. But they were my favourites and they're so catchy and the rhythm's just fab and the lyrics and everything. Dated songs are the coolest. Bye bye bye, I don't wanna make it tough. I had enough. Bye bye!
Here's a flash from the past, anyway:
My Love For The Sea
His coarse skin runs across my toes
The grains of his skin brushing
against my inner calf as his warm
arms pull me into a suffocating embrace.
His breath
against the lids of my eyes
Stinging them and unabling me
to see.
Oh, my love, I surrender
myself to you.
Take me away
with your strong arms which
twists my body
into angles unthinkable.
I'll bury my head into you and
taste you in my mouth
The familiar bland taste of salt that
lingers on my tongue.
Oh, baby, I surrender
myself to you.
Here's my bright idea, here's my bright idea...
And I was just recalling the way you dumped your earpiece onto my lap, sulking and annoyed. But they were my favourites and they're so catchy and the rhythm's just fab and the lyrics and everything. Dated songs are the coolest. Bye bye bye, I don't wanna make it tough. I had enough. Bye bye!
Here's a flash from the past, anyway:
My Love For The Sea
His coarse skin runs across my toes
The grains of his skin brushing
against my inner calf as his warm
arms pull me into a suffocating embrace.
His breath
against the lids of my eyes
Stinging them and unabling me
to see.
Oh, my love, I surrender
myself to you.
Take me away
with your strong arms which
twists my body
into angles unthinkable.
I'll bury my head into you and
taste you in my mouth
The familiar bland taste of salt that
lingers on my tongue.
Oh, baby, I surrender
myself to you.
Here's my bright idea, here's my bright idea...
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Nyctophobia
He said okay, turn off the lights.
In like 8 seconds, all the lights were off and it was pitch-dark. Put your hand out in front of you and you wouldn't see a thing. Sure, there was a little bit of light streaming in here and there, but it was dark, nevertheless. There were these passing shadows and strange figures. I didn't want to know what they were.
The music was playing and everyone was probably conducting but with my skin crawling and my limbs frozen, I couldn't quite move. My palms were clammy and sweaty and I just wanted to scream so badly, I wanted to let out a cry for help. I was half-shaking. I wanted to feel safe. I was wishing to feel safe.
Wishing you'd hold me, or be near.
In like 8 seconds, all the lights were off and it was pitch-dark. Put your hand out in front of you and you wouldn't see a thing. Sure, there was a little bit of light streaming in here and there, but it was dark, nevertheless. There were these passing shadows and strange figures. I didn't want to know what they were.
The music was playing and everyone was probably conducting but with my skin crawling and my limbs frozen, I couldn't quite move. My palms were clammy and sweaty and I just wanted to scream so badly, I wanted to let out a cry for help. I was half-shaking. I wanted to feel safe. I was wishing to feel safe.
Wishing you'd hold me, or be near.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Happy Birthday, Sissypoo!
I said you're old; you're 21.
Tan Tan Udon!
Cheesy and disgustingly mushy but, true enough to post - I love my sister.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Unwanted opinions.
Yay, birth prevention methods.
Tubal ligation (informally known as getting one's "tubes tied") is a permanent form of femal sterilization, in which the fallopian tubes are severed and seal or pinched "shut", in order to prevent fertilization. If I'm not wrong, tubal ligation prevents pregnancy by 100%, so...
If you get it too late, you might be down with an unwanted child! Go for it today!
Tubal ligation (informally known as getting one's "tubes tied") is a permanent form of femal sterilization, in which the fallopian tubes are severed and seal or pinched "shut", in order to prevent fertilization. If I'm not wrong, tubal ligation prevents pregnancy by 100%, so...
If you get it too late, you might be down with an unwanted child! Go for it today!
Rum rum raisin!
Mah thang is leli nam so I carn tok ploperly.
That was Meiji Green Tea ice cream though. The works of Rum Rum Raisin is better - numb tongue, sugar rush, alcohol-stenched breath. Woooo! But while my tongue's numb and my heads whirling and craving for more sleep, I'll drag my focus to that pile of work sitting on the study table.
Buh bye.
That was Meiji Green Tea ice cream though. The works of Rum Rum Raisin is better - numb tongue, sugar rush, alcohol-stenched breath. Woooo! But while my tongue's numb and my heads whirling and craving for more sleep, I'll drag my focus to that pile of work sitting on the study table.
Buh bye.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Chain rule.
She said you differentiate the outside, and then the inside and just keep doing that.
It's like doing the same thing over and over and over again. Only that the power gets more complicated each time and the trigonometric functions just keep expanding and changing and it just becomes a big mess. So, you just keep doing the same thing, anyway, over and over and over again. It'll just pile up.
Like homework - when time isn't well managed.
It's like doing the same thing over and over and over again. Only that the power gets more complicated each time and the trigonometric functions just keep expanding and changing and it just becomes a big mess. So, you just keep doing the same thing, anyway, over and over and over again. It'll just pile up.
Like homework - when time isn't well managed.
Time bomb.
She said don't tell me that 'cause that isn't an excuse.
It's ticking - the little knobs are counting down to the last second in my head. As I figure out the oxidation number or the value of dy over dx, it's ticking ticking ticking. Tick, tick, tick - it goes, over and over and over again. And finally, when the annoying ticking stops [followed by the explosive silence], nothing makes sense anymore.
45 minute focus.
It's ticking - the little knobs are counting down to the last second in my head. As I figure out the oxidation number or the value of dy over dx, it's ticking ticking ticking. Tick, tick, tick - it goes, over and over and over again. And finally, when the annoying ticking stops [followed by the explosive silence], nothing makes sense anymore.
45 minute focus.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Dreaming over.
Someday, I guess. Soon enough.
When you're dreaming, everything's just so wonderful. Especially when it's those dreams that are just so beautiful and feel so damn real. It just leaves you with this feeling of fuzzy warmth and completeness you've never felt before. But, anyway, it'll all come down to this feeling after you wake up. That sick feel of emptiness.
Dream come true, it was.
When you're dreaming, everything's just so wonderful. Especially when it's those dreams that are just so beautiful and feel so damn real. It just leaves you with this feeling of fuzzy warmth and completeness you've never felt before. But, anyway, it'll all come down to this feeling after you wake up. That sick feel of emptiness.
Dream come true, it was.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Maybe it's the rum truffles.
He said okay, she said yes.
Feels like too much oxygen went to my head. I'm light-headed. High, euphoria-driven. This warm fuzzy feeling of amazement and joy just radiates within me. I like this feeling, I like this. I like knowing that I'm not dreaming and wishing for just nothing.
Finally.
Feels like too much oxygen went to my head. I'm light-headed. High, euphoria-driven. This warm fuzzy feeling of amazement and joy just radiates within me. I like this feeling, I like this. I like knowing that I'm not dreaming and wishing for just nothing.
Finally.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Close your eyes and make a little wish.
They exclaimed make a wish! Make a wish!
You know how we make birthday wishes? Close our eyes real tight, think of the one thing you want most in the world and wish for it just before we blow out the candle. Has your birthday wish ever came through? I normally forget what I wish for. Only last year did I remember. Well.
I want another birthday candle to extinguish.
You know how we make birthday wishes? Close our eyes real tight, think of the one thing you want most in the world and wish for it just before we blow out the candle. Has your birthday wish ever came through? I normally forget what I wish for. Only last year did I remember. Well.
I want another birthday candle to extinguish.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Maybe one more?
I used to think ahh, one more sip wouldn't kill.
I was always addicted to the caffeine-loaded amazingly sweet and gassy heavenly drink - Coca-Cola. A bottle or a can a day. Maybe two cups or even three. I'd never heed the advice to stop drinking it. Now, my teeth are quite badly eroded and my health's been bad. Phlegm and a horrible flu. Probably from all the junk food and, of course, Coke.
I'm off Coke. I hope it lasts - the ban.
I was always addicted to the caffeine-loaded amazingly sweet and gassy heavenly drink - Coca-Cola. A bottle or a can a day. Maybe two cups or even three. I'd never heed the advice to stop drinking it. Now, my teeth are quite badly eroded and my health's been bad. Phlegm and a horrible flu. Probably from all the junk food and, of course, Coke.
I'm off Coke. I hope it lasts - the ban.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Flood me.
He said no hurry, no hurry.
14 more weeks, 7 days a week. 98 more days, 60 hours a day - 8,445,240 more seconds. Pretending that I have a 100 years to live, i'll have approximately 30, 961 more days to live. 24 hours a day, 60 minutes an hour. 44,583,840 more minutes. 60 seconds a minutes, so that's 2,675,030,400 more seconds. Left to spend with you.
The thought's pretty scary.
14 more weeks, 7 days a week. 98 more days, 60 hours a day - 8,445,240 more seconds. Pretending that I have a 100 years to live, i'll have approximately 30, 961 more days to live. 24 hours a day, 60 minutes an hour. 44,583,840 more minutes. 60 seconds a minutes, so that's 2,675,030,400 more seconds. Left to spend with you.
The thought's pretty scary.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Hello, again.
They sing flying without wings.
Will you forgive me? I don't really know what for. Maybe for neglecting you sometimes, when I don't come to visit, when I don't come to blog. When I don't tell you what has happened on some days, or maybe when I use livejournal instead of you. I hope you'll forgive me, Blogger. For breaking the trust you have in me, perhaps.
Give me wings, I'd prefer that. That way, I'll fly whenever, wherever.
Will you forgive me? I don't really know what for. Maybe for neglecting you sometimes, when I don't come to visit, when I don't come to blog. When I don't tell you what has happened on some days, or maybe when I use livejournal instead of you. I hope you'll forgive me, Blogger. For breaking the trust you have in me, perhaps.
Give me wings, I'd prefer that. That way, I'll fly whenever, wherever.
Blogger, will you stay awhile?
I left a seat by me, you know.
Hey, Blogger, let me stick around a bit will you? Let me tell you about the things that happen to me each day. Let me share with you all the things that made me smile, laugh and what not. I hope you'll understand me but if you don't, you'll still listen, won't you, Blogger? I'll try to keep it simple, anyway - here goes then...
Please stay, at least till i'm done.
Hey, Blogger, let me stick around a bit will you? Let me tell you about the things that happen to me each day. Let me share with you all the things that made me smile, laugh and what not. I hope you'll understand me but if you don't, you'll still listen, won't you, Blogger? I'll try to keep it simple, anyway - here goes then...
Please stay, at least till i'm done.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Not my patch blanket.
I told her Mummy would not allow.
I never thought I'd feel this way but - I miss the patch blanket, and the noisy fan. The dusty rooms and the old rusty pots and pans. The sewing machine, the moss-filled fish tank. I miss the different smell of incense and looking out onto the green green grass patch. I miss the funky-smelling couch and the old toilet floors. I miss it, unexpectedly.
However, I still want to be there to bai nian.
I never thought I'd feel this way but - I miss the patch blanket, and the noisy fan. The dusty rooms and the old rusty pots and pans. The sewing machine, the moss-filled fish tank. I miss the different smell of incense and looking out onto the green green grass patch. I miss the funky-smelling couch and the old toilet floors. I miss it, unexpectedly.
However, I still want to be there to bai nian.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Perhaps a mistake.
He said even enemies can show respect.
Sometimes, darling, it ain't all about pride or upholding your own dignity. It doesn't all revolve around you every single day. There isn't exactly an absolute heartless person in this whole wide world, I'm sure. Or I'd want to believe. And, I definitely want to believe you aren't.
You've gotta breathe.
Sometimes, darling, it ain't all about pride or upholding your own dignity. It doesn't all revolve around you every single day. There isn't exactly an absolute heartless person in this whole wide world, I'm sure. Or I'd want to believe. And, I definitely want to believe you aren't.
You've gotta breathe.
Something there.
She sings I wonder why I didn't see it there before.
un⋅ex⋅pect⋅ed [uhn-ik-spek-tid]
–adjective
not expected; unforeseen; surprising: an unexpected pleasure; an unexpected development.
Acurately put.
un⋅ex⋅pect⋅ed [uhn-ik-spek-tid]
–adjective
not expected; unforeseen; surprising: an unexpected pleasure; an unexpected development.
Acurately put.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Oh, Mickey, you're so fine. You're so fine you blow my mind.
Pao sniggered You don't trust anyone, Min Jun.
Oh, Mickey what a pity, you don't understand. I don't have much to say. You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand. Well, congratulations on that. Oh, Mickey you're pretty, can't you understand. You wouldn't know because it's been too long, you see. It's guys like you, baby!
Totally seperate matters.
Oh, Mickey what a pity, you don't understand. I don't have much to say. You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand. Well, congratulations on that. Oh, Mickey you're pretty, can't you understand. You wouldn't know because it's been too long, you see. It's guys like you, baby!
Totally seperate matters.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Wednesdays suck.
He asked what happened to self-preservation, Min Jun?
Almost every night, I battle with the Sloth. There's this whole damned pile of work to do but my body wants rest, and so does my mind actually. I could always sleep the night away, but that'll lead to lecturing from the elders and bad results. Or, I could force myself to do the undesired and to avoid the worst - tears and pain and, ultimately, regret.
I guess I gotta do a little work, out of "self-preservation".
Almost every night, I battle with the Sloth. There's this whole damned pile of work to do but my body wants rest, and so does my mind actually. I could always sleep the night away, but that'll lead to lecturing from the elders and bad results. Or, I could force myself to do the undesired and to avoid the worst - tears and pain and, ultimately, regret.
I guess I gotta do a little work, out of "self-preservation".
Saturday, January 3, 2009
I do hope silence always mean consent.
He shouted drop sail!
- Do you love me, brother? Would you protect me against any enemy?
- The last time you spoke to me like this, you were ten years old and you'd just stolen father's horse. What have
- Do you love me, brother? Would you protect me against any enemy?
- The last time you spoke to me like this, you were ten years old and you'd just stolen father's horse. What have
you done now?
- I must show you something.
- Turn us round. Back to Sparta.
- Wait, wait.
- You fool!
- Listen to me.
- Do you know what you've done? Do you know how many years our father worked for peace?
- I love her.
- Ugh! It's all a game to you, isn't it? You roam from town to town bedding merchants' mives and temple mates. And you
- I must show you something.
- Turn us round. Back to Sparta.
- Wait, wait.
- You fool!
- Listen to me.
- Do you know what you've done? Do you know how many years our father worked for peace?
- I love her.
- Ugh! It's all a game to you, isn't it? You roam from town to town bedding merchants' mives and temple mates. And you
think you know something about love. What about your father's love? You spat on him when you brought her on this ]
ship! What about the love for your country? You'll let Troy burn for this woman? I won't let you start a war for her.
- May I speak?... What you say is true - I've wronged you, I've wronged our father. If you want to take Helen back to
- May I speak?... What you say is true - I've wronged you, I've wronged our father. If you want to take Helen back to
Sparta, so be it. But I go with her.
- To Sparta? They'll kill you!
- Then I'll die fighting.
- Oh, and that sounds heroic to you, doesn't it? To die fighting. Tell me, little brother, have you ever killed a man?
- No.
- Ever seen a man die in combat?
- No.
- I've killed man, and I've heard them dying. And I've watched them dying. And there's nothing glorious about it. Nothing
- To Sparta? They'll kill you!
- Then I'll die fighting.
- Oh, and that sounds heroic to you, doesn't it? To die fighting. Tell me, little brother, have you ever killed a man?
- No.
- Ever seen a man die in combat?
- No.
- I've killed man, and I've heard them dying. And I've watched them dying. And there's nothing glorious about it. Nothing
poetic. You say you want to die for love, but you know nothing about dying and you know nothing about love!
- All the same, I go with her. I won't ask you to fight my war.
- You already have... To Troy! About ship! Set sail!
Hector never quite replied Paris.
- All the same, I go with her. I won't ask you to fight my war.
- You already have... To Troy! About ship! Set sail!
Hector never quite replied Paris.
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