Sunday, September 27, 2009

Overwhelming emotions.

Baby, you shoud have called me...

I know I should be studying, burying my head into my books. 30 [or is it 29?] days more and yet I waste my time away... But I can't help it. I can't concentrate. I'll like to blame it on the heat and all, but I keep feeling like everything's slipping away. God knows why. I just wanna feel your arms around me for a bit.

Can't believe that I'm a fool again...

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

It has to be the weather.

I just want to close my eyes, just want to fall asleep...

The weather is always like that at this time of the year. Unusually cold, and windy... Sometime last year, I still had this silly navy blue, oversized Adidas windbreaker that kept me warm on colder nights. Had this burnt patch on the fabric of the right (or was it left?) shoulder and funny old strings hanging to the ground. Nevertheless, kept me really warm...

'Cause I miss you, babe...

Goosebumps.

Do you get them?

Those little bumpy tingly lumps on the surface of your skin. I get goosebumps when I really need to shit, but I already shitted today. I get them when someone tells me a sad story, but the only sounds I hear are my music and the rain. So, maybe I'm getting them because it's too darn cold and the rain outside is making me feel upset...

Or maybe it's the fear that I may lose you, today? Who knows?

Give me a 5th of June.

I've been awake since 8:47am but still am lying here.

Someone, hug me from the back and pull me close, whisper to me that I've gotta get up. Or kiss me on my lips and startle me awake, and whisper that I've gotta get up. Play with my hair and hold me warm, whispering to me that I've gotta get up... Or lift me up above your shoulders in, (what was that called?), ahh yes - a fireman's carry?

Anything at all...

Before you know it.

So gradual but yet too darn fast...

If I go back to where the rocks are painted "28" in yellow and where the sun never seems to fade, where the waves crash in a perfect rhythm, and the wind runs through my hair, will the numbers now be different, will it storm from day to day? Will the waves crash too high and drown me, will the wind blow me away?

Too afraid to move an inch, too afraid to run.