Against my will.

We rarely thank God that we're given the ability to breathe.

But when we drown, when we are snatched and robbed of that basic ability to breathe, to keep us alive, I guess it's only then that we'll realise that such insignificant details of our lives is what we need most. And it's only when the ability to breathe is taken away, against one's will, will you see that you truly need it.

Only then do we appreciate what's gone. Long gone.

Lock me in a bubble.

Wouldn't it be nice...

If I could have a little soundproof bubble so that I wouldn't need to hear the evil that people say? And since my opinions rarely matter, I wouldn't have to waste my energy - they can open up a little window when they wanna listen. I'll sleep and eat, and carry out all daily activities in the little bubble, where no one and nothing can intrude.

Santa are you okay? Are you dead?

Merry Christmas?

Christmas with a loved one.






How do I live without you?

Santa, can you hear me?

Here's my little Christmas wish-list:

1) Baby pink/blue Karakiri
2) Nintendo DS (newer model)
3) Sims 3
4) Forget Me Knot ring by Kiel Mead (view http://www.kielmead.com/)
5) Retainer Jewelry by Kiel Mead
6) Octopus Me earrings (view http://www.etsy.com/)
7) Lion King DVD
8) Snow White DVD
9) Sleeping Beauty DVD
10) Cinderella DVD
11) Beauty and The Beast DVD
12) Little Mermaid DVD
13) Pinnochio DVD
14) Mulan DVD
15) Blossom Pendant (view http://www.rockettoro.com/)
16) The nice Puma Duffel Bag I spotted with Geraldine
17) A nice comfortable pair of Birkenstocks
18) You (wrapped in a big red bow)
Santa, that's my only wish this year...

Candyfloss pool.

Oh, let me drown.

Let me drown in this candyfloss pool. Let me suffocate in fluffy sugar that melts on my skin and let me choke on its sweet taste. Let the last colours I see be a spectrum of light pastel colours of baby pink and blue and lilac. Let me stay here and have my skin layered with melted sugar.

I wish I didn't have to go.

Composed thoughts.

And his presence got me thinking...

How can someone make such a big deal out of cursing when a guest in my house is cursing at the rate of at least 2 times in 5 minutes? How can the fact that this guest is making a member of the family cry in her own house be accepted? How can this guest have absolutely no respect for me and can't even muster a greeting?

If you wanna make a deal out of one's behaviour, make it relative.

Lost for directions.

It's as if I'm swimming in choppy waters...

And I know I should just swim back to shore or I'd die out here in sea. But the journey back is going to be too damn hard on me. And, the waters are calming anyway, why not just stop, float on the waters and see where they bring me? Or should I really complete what I started?

For the first time in a long while, I'm lost. Without someone to cheer me on.

Give me strength.

You're wrong.

I need you. More than anything I could possibly ask for, but I can't have what I want. It's a curse I've to live with. And I just have to move on. I hate myself for putting myself through the pain, and putting you through it too, but I'll never wish to have never met you. Because you're the greatest man I've ever known. And I can't love anyone more.

Lift me up.